What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up? Who, Me?

Whenever I fall into conversation with adults of any type, the inevitable (and often initial) question arises: What do I want to DO? What have I done, surely, yes, quite interesting, but how exactly am I going to USE that to GET me somewhere? Furthermore, exactly WHERE am I expecting to get?
In other words, what do I want my college major to be?

I have gradually come to find this question irritating, if not downright offensive. All the more so for how harmlessly it's meant. I am sure I've asked it of others multiple times, and never thought one way or another of the type of response I got.

Time was, there was nothing more exciting than discussing future plans. When the whole future seemed like a drawing you could make yourself, or discard at your will, flexing your pre-adolescent muscles by mapping out the path you were headed down. Time was, I saw that path clear and distinct, laid out in front of me as real as concrete.

I'm sure everyone's had the feeling, at some point in their life, that they're headed nowhere. While I haven't yet reached that extreme, I am going through something of a mid-teens crisis at the moment, because I feel as if I've retreated from the goals I set myself so many years ago, and not advanced a bit.

Life was so much easier when I knew I was going to grow up to be a ballerina.

*******

Now, when asked, I tell people that I'm interested in Biology. Or international studies. Which I am. But I lack the kind of single-minded devotion to these subjects which I feel would have to be a condition for whatever my future career turns out to be. The truth is, I'm not sure, and the questions shot at me by others reflect the state of questioning inside myself to such an extent that I feel I'm being wrung dry of all possible answers.

So I find myself asking more questions, such as How important is this anyway?

My guess is, not much. How many people actually succeed at the paths they mark out for themselves? How many youngsters attain their dream of being the next star athlete, or first female President, or *ahem* ballet dancer? I remember, in my young and tender years, watching a TV program (or a video--something along those lines) that assured me "You can be anything that you want to be!" Now, I actually believe that, but in a different sense--more on that in a second.

I just have my doubts that this is the right message to be sending anyone, young children and college students alike, because direction doesn't matter. We can achieve our highest dreams, if they remain humble. We can be happy and face the world with a clear conscience so long as nothing has shaken our resolve to always try our hardest.

You see, the reason I think I feel slightly offended--or perhaps awkward is a better word--when plied about my future plans, is that indicating my indecision implies a lack of focus or direction on my part. Which cannot be further from reality. I'm not thrilled with everything about myself, or the things I've achieved, but I am determined. I may not have a clear career choice in mind, but I have many options, and I can face each day knowing that I will find a way to be happy no matter what I do. I am passionately devoted to all of the things I do, from dance to science to social studies and beyond, and the only reason I haven't designated a certain focus is that I feel no need to choose from among them. Aren't all "real" jobs conglomerations, anyway? Isn't the reason we're required to know all of these things because they'll help us later on, in every aspect of our lives? It's the versatile and multi-talented who survive, in the end. All I'm saying is that maybe those of us (since I may as well begin counting myself among them) who have no idea what our college major is going to be have no cause to be ashamed; perhaps we even ought to be proud that we have escaped the trappings of a narrow minded stratum.

Because the world is a limitless sphere, and

It may be that resilience is our greatest collective skill.